Trekkies in Wonderland
by MrsMarlaHarrison
Summary: Leonard McCoy spends a late night in the med bay when a sudden and unexpected adventure takes wing. After chasing an experimental tribble around the Enterprise, Bones enters a magical world where nothing is as it seems and old friends are a bit more mad they they usually are. Can "Alice" save his friends from the wrath of the Red Queen? Warning. This story is illogical.
1. Chapter 1: Alice and the Tribble

_Dearest fanfic enthusiast. Please be forewarned that this story is highly illogical. Enjoy_

Chapter 1: Alice and the Tribble

Leonard McCoy ran his fingers through his hair, tousling it to cover his forehead as he let a tired sigh escape his lips. It was already past 3:00 AM and the doctor had taken no time to sleep and was too consumed by his current endeavor to crack the scientific mystery behind Enterprise's newest occupant. A supposed superman named Khan. The ship was silent accept for the silent hum and occasional beeping of the machines in the medical bay. Bones propped himself up on one arm as his tired eyes remained focused on his test specimen. The cadaver of a tribble sat before him; hooked up by various wires that were monitoring for any suspicious activity that might be related to the blood transfusion Bones had performed earlier that day. Doctor McCoy began to consider utilizing the furry, dead creature before him as a pillow when a sudden chime of alarms began to sound, jolting the doctor from his trance.

"What in the hell?! Damn systems must be faulty."

He growled as his fingers ran across a series of switches to silence the system. Once again the usual soft hum of the med bay returned, Leonard decided to call it a night. The doctor switched off the light above his workspace and proceeded to exit the bay when he heard the soft sound of purring behind him. The doctor cast a concerned gaze back toward the dead tribble, then over the rest of the bay before turning to leave again. The purring had stopped. He had just rounded the first corner when he heard a loud thump come from the bay.

"Alright. Who the hell is in here?" McCoy demanded as he switched the lights on and began to search the room for signs of life. It was then he noticed the tribble was missing. Doctor McCoy stopped in his tracks as a look of disgust washed across his face. "Whoever you are, you're sick." He said quietly to himself. He began to search beneath the desks and vacant beds for any presence. He detected distinct movement coming from behind him, so he turned to approach the unwanted intruders. Behind the curtain he could see the form of something mobile sitting on top of the vacant hospital bed that had held the prisoner earlier that evening. He approached with caution and violently ripped the curtain back bracing himself for a fight. There was nothing there.

"Dammit! I'm a doctor, not Scooby Doo! I'm too tired to play games, whoever you are." The doctor let out a horrendous scream when the sound of purring erupted closely behind him. He reared around to see the form of the small, white tribble sitting on the floor before him, very much alive.

"What th-!" he exclaimed. "You're supposed to be dead…. No offense intended." He said, backing away from the creature. The tribble pursued McCoy purring and mewing as it advanced. The doctor stopped dead in his tracks as his back hit the cold wall of the bay the tribble stopped only a few feet before him. He stared intensely at the creature, praying it didn't leap to attack him. McCoy wasn't sure he knew where the mouth on the beast was, but he was not exactly willing to find out under the current circumstance.

_Boink!_

The doctor blinked twice, trying to make out the image before him. _Did that thing just grow….rabbit ears?! _McCoy wasn't sure what sort of adverse reaction the super-human's blood had on the animal, but he was damned sure he couldn't allow a mutated zombie tribble to terrorize the sleeping crew of the Enterprise.

"Wait up, you sonuvabitch!" he said, practically tripping over the bed as he erupted from the room in pursuit of his experiment.


	2. Chapter 2: Welcome to Wonderland, Alice

Dr. McCoy finally regained consciousness, but how much time had passed since his little incident aboard the Enterprise was unknown to him. Slowly, his senses began to sort themselves out and he could tell that he was lying on his back and his hands were gripping something…._wet. Grass? _He thought to himself. As his eyes began to flutter open, bright light trickled in causing him to moan in pain. After some time, Bones finally managed to prop himself to a sitting position to examine his location. It appeared to be some sort of grassland very similar to the Earth. The grass was wet with morning dew and the sun shone brightly above him. He took a minute to inhale the fresh sent of nature as the breeze caressed his face and left a draft on his legs. His thoughts were interrupted by the sight of blue, which enveloped his lower body.

"Dammit!" He yelled as he leapt to a standing position, grabbing the fabric of his blue frock in his fists. "Who the hell took my uniform!" he said, yelling around to whatever life form was present. His thoughts were interrupted by the all-to-familiar sound of purring coming from behind him. "You little rat!" he yelled, turning abruptly to face the little white tribble. The tribble's long white rabbit ears propped up at the site of the doctor's enraged expression. Bones leapt to grab the furry pain in the ass, but received a face full of dirt as the tribble evaded the doctor's attack. "Get BACK HERE!" he roared as he ran in hot pursuit of the bouncing ball of fur. The tribble hopped fast, losing its pursuer. Bones, winded by the chase, stopped and held his hands on his knees as he attempted to catch his breath. "He's a fast little sonuvabitch."

When the doctor had finally composed himself, he took a moment to analyze his surroundings. He appeared to be in a forest of some kind; a forest very similar to those on Earth. He reached for his communicator but was brought to the realization that the presence of his new blue dress meant that he no longer had his communicator, or more importantly…his phaser. _Well that's just great. _He thought to himself.

After what seemed like hours, Bones decided to call it quits. He had hoped to come into contact with whomever had thought it funny to steal his clothing and abandon him weaponless and pantsless in the middle of nowhere. As time passed and no sign of intelligent life came into view, Bones began to focus his efforts elsewhere. The only way he was likely to survive a night alone in the middle of an alien forest was to gain as much knowledge about his surroundings as possible. To do that, he would need to explore with caution until he found a suitable source for shelter. Only then would he be able to pay attention to the matter of gaining substantial nutrition.

Bones fought against the branches that blocked his path. A handful of leaves he pulled from his view was quickly received with a face-full of dirt. Bones spit the debris from his mouth and ran his hands frantically through his hair to remove the remaining forest sludge from his face and head. He began to quicken his pace, wanting nothing more than to get as far from the forest as humanly possible with as little damage as he could manage. He trudged forward with heavy feet until a single leg was planted knee-deep in a puddle of mud.

"Arghhh!" McCoy ripped his leg out as forcefully as possible, his momentum thrusting him backward onto his rear end. The frantic doctor pushed himself to his feet and continued his tiring pursuit to leave the forest behind him. He felt a tug at the bottom of his dress, causing him to yelp and turn around to find his petticoat attached to the thorns of a small bush.

"Of course.." He sighed to himself as he readied his hands to free his dress. His focus was broken by the soft sound of giggling coming from his right. "Who's there?!" he demanded, ripping a branch off of a nearby tree hoping it was enough to defend him in an attack. The giggling softened instantly. With a forceful tug, Bones free his petticoat from the bush and used both hands to wield the branch, prepping himself for whatever was in the bush. "I may be a doctor, but I can kick some ass if I need to. Show yourself!" The bushed to his right began to rustle and McCoy could hear his heart pounding loudly as he prepared to face whatever hideous beast revealed itself. Before him was a little red bird fluttering lightly on her wings and her soft brown eyes were flooded with concern.

"I'm sorry for laughing at you." The bird finally spoke. Her voice was undeniable.

"Lieutenant Uhura?" The doctor's eyes grew wide at the sight of his crewmate hovering before him. The bird tilted her head to the side as she considered the doctor's statement. The red bird, which Bones now assumed to be none other than the ship's best lieutenant reincarnated as a bird, increased her distance.

"It makes little difference who I am. What _I _wish to know is _Who. Are. You_?" she asked, her strong stare never leaving the doctor's eyes. _That is definitely Uhura. _Bones thought to himself with a snicker. Whatever sort of sick dream the doctor was having, he figured it was best to ride it out. He hadn't remembered ever going to sleep. In fact, the last thing he remembered was the incident with the airlock and the tribble. Seeing as how no human could have survived being sucked into space without the proper equipment, he found it unlikely that it had ever occurred. If it had not been a dream, then McCoy was convinced this was some bazaar version of hell. He was certainly more inclined to believe he had nodded off in the med bay.

"Uhura, you know me! It's me. Leonard." He said, pleading with his fellow crewmember.

"I don't remember a Leonard." She said, firmly. Digging her stare deeper to accuse him of what she clearly believed was an obvious lie. "Besides" she continued, "I would not think that color blue would suit a 'Leonard'. It's certainly more of an Alice blue." She said as a smile played across her beak.

"Alright. Listen here, birdy. I don't know what sort of strange wonderland this is, but I know one thing for sure, and that is that my name is NOT Alice. It's Leonard. And, please don't mention the dress. It's uncomfortable." He said, adding that last part while his eyes averted her gaze.

"It is peculiar to me that you know exactly where you are, but do not know your own name." She said, digging her last accusation in sharply. _Yes. This was definitely the fiery lieutenant. _

"No. Listen again." He said, losing his patience with her. "I said I _don't _know where I am. I _do _know my own name."

"But you clearly know where you are. You just said it." She said, again accusing him with her potent stare.

"What?!"

"Wonderland. That's where you are. Silly Alice." The doctor's eyes grew a size larger as the realization spread across his face. Wonderland was very much a fairytale from his childhood. Finding himself there could only mean one thing. He had gone completely insane.

"Wonderland…" the word played across his lips and he considered what he had just heard. "How did I get here? And don't call me Alice!"

"Now how am I supposed to know that!" Uhura spat.

"Alright! Calm down, Dammit. Could you help me get back to the Enterprise." Uhura just held a questioning stare at him. He decided to repeat himself. "The Enterprise. It's a starship. Could you help me find my way back?" He said, this time a little frustrated with her apparent lack of understanding.

"I don't know why I should. You're clearly crazy." This only received sneer from McCoy as he willed her to bend to his request. "I have no clue what an 'Enterprise' is, but I'm sure the caterpillar could offer some assistance. He is all-knowing." With that she began to fly off in the opposite direction.

"Wait a second!" he said, rushing in her path to stop her. She made a fast collide with his chest and fell to the ground with a thud.

"How. DARE YOU!" she squeaked and began to rapidly peck McCoy on his head.

"Wait! Wait! HEY!" he said, flailing his arms to protect his cranium from further assault. "Uhura! Stop it!" When she had finally calmed down, he carefully addressed his concern. "Listen, I appreciate your….assistance, but I don't understand how a crawling geometrid is going to help me locate a spaceship."

"I said he was all-knowing, you moron." She said, spitting her words like venom. "It's the best I could offer you. If you don't want my help, then don't ask next time." She said, turning to leave.

"Wait!" he said, taking a breath to ready himself for his strange request. "I need you help.

Please." Uhura considered him for a second, her cold stare melting into a soft look of pity.

"Fine. Keep up. If you get lost I'll let the bandersnatch have you."

"The Bander-what-now?" Before he had a chance to consider her statement, she shot off in pursuit of their destination. "Whoa! Hold up!" he said, bolting after the little red bird.


	3. Chapter 3: The Caterpillar

"Alright. When you said 'keep up' and proceeded to bolt into the forest like a lunatic, did it ever occur to you that you can _fly_?_"_ he spat, trying to pick a small insect out of his eye. When he had redirected his focus back to Nyota, she was glaring daggers through him. "Sorry." He managed, realizing he was in for an ear beating. She shook it off and turned her attention in the direction of a large boulder that seated a massive worm-like creature smoking through a long pipe. The creature was sitting in the sun, which reflected vibrantly off of his bright blue body. He was reciting some sort of mathematical formula as if it were poetry while the rings of smoke danced in the air around him.

"There he is." She said, an expression of affection and admiration playing on her delicate features. "Oh, but be forewarned. The Caterpillar is a very inquisitive fellow. He will only engage in conversation that he finds interesting. If he finds you to be a waste of his time, he will likely dismiss you. Chose your words carefully." She said. The doctor hesitated for a moment, causing her to take initiative. "I'll introduce you. Follow me." She said, before fluttering toward the massive insect.

" Mr. Caterpillar." She sang as she flew to meet him.

"Ah, Nyota, my feathered friend. What brings you to this side of the forest?" he said, taking a long puff of his pipe and exhaling it into the air. Bones had finally gotten the chance to get a good look at the massive creature. He had to be at least 5 ft 10 inches high, shiny sleek blue skin covered his entire lower half, but his top half seemed very much human in shape and coloring. If only the doctor could get a good look at his face.

"Mr. Caterpillar." Nyota continued. "I am sorry to bother you, but I bring a strange foreigner. He is lost and trying to find his way back to his 'Enterprise'. I think he's a bit on the crazy side. He thinks his name is Leonard." She said, fluttering closer to the caterpillar to deliver the last part of her statement. It did not go unheard by Bones.

"I _heard _that!" he said, catching the attention of the caterpillar. When he turned around to face him, the face was undeniable. "Spock?" he said. McCoy had never been so happy to see that emotionless cold stare in his life. "Thank God, Spock!" He said, rushing to embrace the Vulcan at surprising speed. The confrontation was not received well by the caterpillar who pulled himself to full height and tangled Leonard in his pipe.

"Please do not approach me in such a confrontational manner. I do not know you, 'Leonard', and I have no clue what a 'Spock' is." He said, his voice void of all emotion or recognition.

"Dammit, Spock! Come on. I wouldn't expect YOU of all people to join the crazy crowd. You have to remember me." He said, pleading his case to which he received only inquisitive stare. Uhura whistled nearby indicating that she believed him to be insane.

"I find it highly illogical that you believe your name to be Leonard, yet you wear the frock of one who should be named Alice." He said, again taking a long puff of smoke into his lungs and exhaling it slowly. The smoke formed several numbers before dissipating into the air around them. McCoy, who was standing close to the caterpillar coughed as the strong scent of whatever Spock was smoking entered his nose.

"Dammit, Spock. Of course you don't remember me. You're all hopped up on God only knows what." The caterpillar received the doctor's statement with slight offense and began to press his own agenda into the conversation.

"Who. Are. You?" Spock's monotonous voice held a tint of annoyance.

"Leonard McCoy." Replied Bones. He supposed it was best to simply play along. It was usually a losing battle fighting the real Spock. The fact that his lower body had been replaced with that of a massive maggot didn't seem to have affected his unyielding personality.

"I do not believe you." Came his simple reply.

"Then why the hell did you ask me?!" Bones spat, growing impatient with his friend's accusing tone.

"Because, I wanted to know if YOU knew who you were."

"Oh. I guess that's simple enough." Bones replied with a harsh chuckle. Spock really was insufferable to say the least. "Well then Mr. all-knowing. I clearly don't know who I am, so would you mind enlightening me and then helping me find my way to my frigging ship." He said, a little more harshly than he had anticipated.

"You are Alice."

"Alright, Mr. Wise Guy-" Bones began, but was cut short by the Vulcan.

"Yes. I am all knowing, implying that I am wise as well. I do not understand your infatuation with stating the obvious, doctor." he said, tilting his head to the side. Bones growled as a response.

"Are you going to help me find my ship or not?" he finally said, ready to give up on the crazed science officer.

"That depends. Have you completed your task yet, Alice?" Bones turned around to face Spock, his gaze questioning his friend's bazaar statement.

"Task? What task?"

"The task by which you, Alice, are required to complete prior to returning to your home world." He said, simply. Expecting to have offered enough detail to the doctor. McCoy shook his head before questioning his friend.

"Yeah. Thanks for that captain obvious. What task? Be more specific." He spat hoping to have gotten his point across to the Vulcan. "And stop calling me Alice!"

"Alice is your name. What else would I call you besides your name?"

"Forget it. The task, Spock, what's the task?"

"To free our people from the clutches of the dreaded Red Queen. Judging by the fact that you have no clue what I am referring to, I find it highly unlikely that you have completed it."

"Whoa. Hold on a second there, Spock. You don't stick tights on a plumber and ask him to be your superman." He said, his stare intensely focused on the man…caterpillar… Spockapillar?... before him.

"I do not take your meaning, Alice." Spock replied, giving him a look of concern.

"Ugh. Look man, I'm a _doctor, _not some sort of hero. I can't free a fantasy civilization from an evil queen. You bring me a soldier missing his arm and I'll sew him up real nice, but I can't pick up in his stead."

"You underestimate your power, Miss Alice. You have the potential to accomplish great things. If you did not, the prophecy would never have foreseen you as our savior."

"Miss?…Oh forget it. Listen Spock, just because I happen to be wearing the same dress as this Alice lady doesn't mean I have the stock to raise siege on some crazy monarch. For all I know, the real Alice is running around this place in my Starfleet uniform shooting my phaser at the local town folk." This was only received by an inquisitive glance. Spock then turned to face Uhura who was eyeing McCoy with a look of concern and bemusement.

"I must ask a favor of you. If Miss Alice is to accomplish the task before her, she will require the assistance of some of our very close friends. I ask that you help her make acquaintance with the Hatter and the Hare. I believe that their connection will prove useful. Goodbye, Miss Alice. Live long and prosper." With that, a bright light engulfed the caterpillar, blinding Bones. When his vision had finally refocused, Spock was no longer seated on the large boulder, but fluttering with the help of two large, brightly colored butterfly wings. As he ascended into the sky Bones stared on in disbelief.

"So you are the right Alice." Nyota said, smiling softly at the face of their soon-to-be savior. "Follow me. If we intend to get you to the Hatter's in one piece, it is best we do so before darkness arrives." With that, she flew off, leaving a stunned and panting McCoy in pursuit of her.


	4. Chapter 4: Cheshire Marcus

Uhura tore forward through the trees and McCoy plundered behind her desperate to keep up. Dark was falling upon them fast, and Bones was finding it increasingly difficult to keep his eyes focused on the lieutenant while simultaneously trying not to lose one of them in a passing tree branch. "Could you slow up a bit?!" he called after her, but he received no indication that she heard him. She kept her pace as quick as possible; never once turning back to make sure he was still in one piece. Bones was panting heavily behind his feathered escort when all of a sudden she jolted to a stop. Bones lost his footing as he attempted to avoid colliding with her small figure that had halted so suddenly midflight. He scrambled to pull his face from the forest floor and looked up to face his escort, still fighting to catch his breath. She was silent as death as she surveyed their surroundings.

"You know, a warning would be ni-"

"Shhhh!" she spat, her eyes never looking down to focus on him, but instead she kept her eyes upward toward the treetops. The moonlight was filtering into the forest through the canopy and the soft song of the crickets and other buzzing insects could be heard. Bones face contorted as he considered what could have frightened her to such a sudden halt. Whatever it was, he prayed it wasn't hungry. A soft growl floated in the forest air, but it was impossible to pin a location on it.

"Did you hear tha-" Again he was cut off by Uhura

"Shhhh!" she said, this time turning to face him. Her face held a strong expression of annoyance, but her eyes were unmistakably filled with fear. McCoy had no time to react when a sudden flurry of bright blue and yellow leapt in front of his face catching Nyota in a swift motion and slamming her to the ground.

"Nyota!" McCoy yelled as he leapt to his feet hot in pursuit of her attacker. The blue creature advanced quickly ahead of him with agility and grace. Bones clumsily followed hollering profanities as his face and torso were assaulted by the branches that he was unable to see in the darkness. He could hear the frightened voice of Uhura coming from the monster ahead of him and when he had finally reached a clearing, he caught sight the monster dive into a nearby bush. McCoy quickly found a suitable branch and approached the rustling leaves with caution, readying himself for claws, teeth, venom or a combination of the three. After a brief exhale he swung the branch forcefully into the bush praying it made contact with the aggressor. A low growl sounded before it leapt forward to confront him. It took the doctor a second to grasp what he saw standing before him. There, readied for attack, was the form of a monstrous-looking feline. Its fur was an alien shade of blues and yellows and its glowing eyes shone bright blue in the moonlight. The irises where black slits down the center. The massive cat had its claws out, marking the ground beneath it as it bared its teeth in a horrific snarl. Between its front paws lied the small, fragile form of Uhura twitching and whimpering with fear, pain or both.

"What the hell was THAT!" the cat sneered venomously. That voice, _her _voice, and her distinct accent, it was unmistakable.

"Carol! You're a cat!" Bones stared in disbelief at the furry mass of claws and teeth that stood before him.

"Well of course I'm a _cat! _A Cheshire cat, to be more exact." She said, her tone prissy and offended. "Do you know how unbearably _rude _it is to interrupt a lady while she's having her dinner?" She said. "I'd say it's just about unforgivable. You're lucky I am in a good mood. Otherwise I'd be inclined to poke those pesky little eyes clean out of their sockets!" She spat.

"Cool your claws, fur ball. I don't mind you having your dinner. I'd just rather it not be my friend there. I need her to find my way out of this insane asylum and I'll be damned if you're going to make a snack out of her." He said as he swiftly reached forward and picked Uhura up in his hands, holding her close to his chest just evading a swift swipe of Carol's shining claws.

"It's still rude to interrupt a woman's meal." She hissed

"Yeah, well it's pretty damn rude to eat a lost man's escort." He retorted.

"Man? Aha! Well that's a funny statement. You're hardly a man wearing _that _silly dress." Her jeer was infuriating to the doctor.

"Watch your attitude, missy. I won't take sass from an overgrown hairball who cleans her butt with her own tongue!" Bones quickly jumped back to avoid a swift series of scratches directed at his ankle. Once he had gained enough footing, he planted a swift kick to Carol's face knocking her onto her rump.

"The nerve of some people!" she growled as she proceeded to rearrange her fur with her front paw. "You've really managed to ruin my night. I hope you are proud of yourself."

"Yeah. Well, I've had better accomplishments." He said, turning to examine the location. "Great. Now I'm lost and my guide is in a state of shock. Perfect. Just perfect." He said, more to himself than to Carol.

"Well, you should have just said so." Bones quickly turned around to face the giant cat, but was startled to find she was no longer sitting on the forest floor. She was floating in midair, meeting the doctor at eye level.

"What the-!" McCoy fell backward, startled by the cat's sudden ability to levitate.

"Lost is a funny thing. You see, you can only be lost if you have somewhere else you would rather be." She mused, realigning herself so that her feet now pointed toward the sky.

"I'd _rather _be home back on Earth, but for right now I'll settle with being back aboard the Enterprise." Carol responded with a look of confusion.

"I'm not really sure I know what an 'Enterprise' is. However, judging by your strange apparel, that vacant look in your eyes and your clear lack of knowledge about the area I feel that it is safe to assume you are Alice."

_There goes that friggin Alice thing again. _He thought to himself. Now that he had Carol's interest, he figured it was best to play it out as long as possible. Perhaps she could offer him some useful advice that didn't involve some crazy adventure to overthrow a kingdom. "Yeah…" he finally managed. "I guess you can call me that. Everyone else seems to." A wide grin suddenly formed across her face as she let herself rotate upright. Her two front paws were clasped together and her pupils dilated with interest.

"Alice. You come at last." Seeing a cat grinning had to be amongst the most horrific images Leonard had ever seen face to face. He managed to hide his discomfort as he pursued the cat's knowledge further.

"So. You've heard of me."

"Who hasn't? You are our savior."

_Dammit. _McCoy thought. _There goes that "savior" crap again. _

"Yeah. I guess you could say that_. _Look. My buddy Spock told me to find some sort of 'hatter' or something. Supposedly he's going to help me get home. Would you be able to point me in the right direction?" He said. Her smile was beginning to unnerve him, so he figured it was best to play her out for all the information he could and then get the hell away from her before she remembered he had deprived her of her dinner.

"Ahhh." She purred. "The Mad Hatter?"

"Um. No. Just the Hatter. I don't need the mad one." Bones continued, but was stopped by a single raised paw.

"I am afraid you are out of luck then, my friend. The Mad Hatter is the only hatter we have here in Wonderland."

"Oh. Thanks for the info. Can you point me in the direction of the nearest town? Maybe I could find someone sane to converse with."

"No use. We're all mad here." She said, her smile growing larger than her face should have allowed. "Would you like me to point you in the proper direction or not?" she said, growing impatient with him.

"Well, I guess if I have no choice. Sure. Which way should I go?"

"Follow me." She said. Bones shivered at the thought of spending another minute in the unnerving feline's company, but decided it best to follow her. Considering all of the strange encounters he had managed to have in the last 24 hours, he was not inclined to sleep alone in the forest without a proper guide.

"Oh." She said, turning to face him "I should probably warn you that the Mad Hatter has a bit of a problem controlling himself. You might want to watch. With that dress you are wearing, it is very likely that he will try to eat you up." She said, giggling fiendishly as she turned around and began to float away.

"….Eat me?" Bones said, hesitantly. "Wait, you don't mean he's cannibalistic!" He received no reply.


	5. Chapter 5: Mad as a Hatter

Bones did his best to insure that there was a good several feet between him and the levitating feline and he cautiously followed her through the forest. While he was relatively certain she was the cat reincarnate of the Enterprise's lovely weapons specialist, he wasn't about to find out the hard way that, like everyone he had encountered so far, she didn't have more than a few screws loose. He cradled the quite sleeping form of Nyota close to his chest as he trudged forward through the darkness. It seemed like hours had passed before he noticed any change in Carol's already peculiar behavior. Daylight was now filtering in through the treetops and the sweet songs of the birds filled the air around them. Finally, they came to what appeared to be a clearing in the middle of the dense forest. The cat slowly descended until she was standing upright. She turned slightly and beckoned McCoy with a wave of her small front paw, the devious smile still plastered on her furry face. McCoy hesitantly approached and crouched down beside the cat, trying his best to remain concealed behind the few bushes. He had to blink several times to assure himself that he was seeing the scene before him properly.

There, in the middle of the clearing, was an obnoxiously large table that had been decorated with over 30 different place settings. Cakes, cookies and other brightly frosted pastries lined the center of the table. Bones could feel his mouth begin to water. It wasn't until then that he realized he hadn't eaten a single thing since he had gotten to Wonderland. He was anxious to greet the strangers, mad or not, to get a bite of whatever sweet smelling food was on the table. Bones was pulled from his dazed state by the bright form of something hopping about around at the farthest end of the table. When he managed to focus himself, he noticed it was the form of a man in brightly colored, very peculiar garb. His hair was a darker shade of blond and was sprouting out from beneath a large, obnoxiously decorated hat. The man was singing an odd, apoplectic tune while what looked like a massive rabbit sat in the seat beside him clapping along joyously. Beside the overgrown bunny was the form of a creature with large mouse ears, snoring loudly from the tabletop. Every so often he would let out a loud snort, which would receive a harsh glare from the man in the hat and the rabbit. Within seconds they would continue their happy little song as if they had never been interrupted.

"This way." Carol said as she proceeded to approach the strange crowd. Bones stumbled after her, never letting his guard down. His hands clutched Uhura tightly to his chest, trying his best to maintain a sense of protection over her.

"Cheshire!" The hatted man said, turning around to reveal a maniacal grin plastered on his highly made-up face. He had a slight lisp and when he spoke, he had a tendency to wave his arms and hands about, intensifying his already insane composure. "I really didn't expect _company_…." He said, considering the newcomers from afar. "How _RUDE." _He said, his face immediately beginning to turn noticeably red.

"Oh hush, Hat!" Carol spat, as she examined her claws. She was completely unfazed by the man's apparent insult to their presence. Then again, she did have claws and the ability to disappear when it suited her. It was hard for Bones to accept her calm demeanor. "This is Alice."

Immediately, the hatter's enraged expression turned to one of excitement. He balled his fists to his side and began to shake lightly, resembling a small child about to open his Christmas presents. A small, _insane _child. Bones thought to himself. Before the doctor had a chance to readdress the "Alice" issue, the hatter had leapt upon the table and began to recklessly walk across it to meet the newcomers face to face. His feet shattered some nearby teacups and his toes occasionally landed in a cupcake or two. When he had reached the end of the table, he took a massive leap and landed square in front of McCoy, ushering a small squeal of surprise. He took a rather violent bow before Leonard to which he awkwardly extended his hand. The Hatter was too busy starting at the floor to notice.

"Miss Alice." He mused, still bowed before him "You've arrived at last." He said finally lifting his head to face McCoy. The doctor nearly fell to the ground where he was standing. There, under all of that bazaar makeup and lace was his good friend and captain….Jim Kirk.

…..

When Bones had finally regained consciousness he found himself seated at the very long table with a teacup placed in his hand. He started as he looked around to examine what had happened since his episode. _Did I….faint? _He thought to himself. There at the table was Jim, bouncing up and down in his seat like he had to use the restroom. Next to him, Uhura was chittering happily. Bones was so thankful to see his good friend back in health. It was then his attention turned to the third, large colorful figure seated at the table. The gigantic rabbit was finally in view and it was undeniable. It was Scotty, the ship's chief engineer.

"Oh. How very, very _rude _of you. Fainting at a tea party." Said Ji- the "Hatter" as he dipped the tip of his finger in a smoking cup of tea and began to stir it. "You have no manners, Miss Alice. You really don't."

"Oh yeah?" Bones retorted "Let's talk about manners, Jim. You know it's pretty bad manners to run off and hop around at some fantasy land tea party leaving your crew stranded all over Candy Land"

"Wonderland" The Hatter corrected

"Oh, Whatever!" he spat, still enraged at the sight of his good friend and colleague. "What the HELL were you thinking?"

"Now why, precisely, would I do that?" He said, his face growing red

"What?" Bones responded, not sure about what Kirk was trying to say

"THAT!"

"What's THAT!?" Leonard yelled back.

"Think! Why would I do such a crazy thing? The nerve of you, Alice. You come into my tea party, not even dressed properly for the occasion and then you accuse me of thinking?" He said, looking slightly hurt by McCoy's…accusations?

"I really hate to say this, Jim, but I think you may really need Spock's constant influence on you. Without him around, you're a little…" The hatter looked up to meet him, a small pout playing on his face. It took an incredible amount of energy for McCoy to remember that this was not, in fact, Jim Kirk. It was just a crazy figment of his imagination, nothing more. But God, was he infuriating. Bones coughed lightly before changing the subject. "Sorry about the dress. Someone stole my uniform when I got here. Stripped me clean of my communicator and my phaser and left me with nothing." He said, trying to lighten the conversation a bit.

"Oh. I don't mean the dress." He said, "I quite like that on you, Alice. It shows off your legs. You do have such nice legs" A smile began to stretch on Jim's face as he leaned over the table to get a better view of McCoy's lower half. It was received with a slap.

"Hey. Get your eyes out of there, dammit! I'm not one of your space hookers!"

"Ohhh!" The hatter giggled nervously. "I have space hookers!" he said. It was clear that the meaning of "hooker" was far beyond the strange man's understanding.

"Don't mind him." Came the soft purr of Carol. "He's always like that. The hatter has a bit of a poor…..reputation." she said, shooting a small glare in his direction. Jim didn't seem to notice. He was too busy fiddling with an oversized pocket watch, which he seemed to have fabricated out of thin air.

"I have a reputation?" He questioned, still not taking his eyes off of his toy.

"Yes, you do. I'm a friend of Christine Chapel."

"Christine Chapel?" he said, playing the name on his lips. After what seemed like at least a minute of awkward silence Jim finally came to a conclusion "I don't know her." He said, indifferently. _Wow. _Bones thought to himself. _Jim has certainly lost a bit of his tact when he fell down the rabbit hole. _

"Yes you do!" Carol spat, irritated by his indifference.

"Ummmm. Nope" He said as he proceeded to saturate the innards of his pocket watch with jam and butter. "Carol. You really mustn't be so mean to me. Today's my un-birthday you know."

"_Every day _is your un-birthday!"

"Come now, Cheshire. That's absurd. I have a birthday, you know. But it only comes once a year. My un-birthday comes 364. That's because it's more important." He said with a large, childish smile. Carol began to bicker back at him and Bones wasn't sure he could handle any more of the captain's insane rambling. He turned to Scotty.

"So, you're a rabbit?" He said, receiving a strong glare as a response.

"_I _am certainly NOT a rabbit. _I _am a rare breed of Hare. THANK YOU." He spat, clearly offended.

"Is there a difference?" Bones was genuinely curious, but he soon regretted it as a teacup went whizzing past his head. Bones managed to dodge the projectile just in time.

"Hare!" Jim spat. "You mustn't throw things at our guests!"

"Jim" Bones managed to finally get his attention. "Look, I came because Spock told me you would help me find my way back to my ship."

"Ship?" Jim interrupted

"Yes, Jim. My ship?"

"Ah! Are you a pirate?!" He said, his eyes wide with alarm. Jim leapt on the table and began hollering. "Pirate! PIRATE!" he yelled. "Oh Gosh! I have to hide my booty!" He called before bending down to meet McCoy face to face. "They like to steal the booty, you know." He whispered before turning to face Bones straight on. "PIRATE!" he yelled in his face before jumping from the table, all the while keeping his hands over his rump.

"Dammit, Jim! I don't want to touch your butt!" McCoy hollered.

"You don't?" replied that hatter, seemingly disappointed.

"No!" he said before continuing. "And besides, it's not a pirate ship. It's a _star ship!" _He growled, hoping to connect whatever wire had snapped in Kirk's confused little skull.

"Oh. A starship. That's very different. Yes it is." He said, picking up a cupcake and jamming it into his mouth. Carol snorted at his lack of table manners.

"Alice." She interrupted "Still has yet to accomplish her task. I think we should discuss that first. Then we will help you get home."

"Alice still hasn't accomplished her task?!" The hatter and hare chimed in sync.

"Oh God. WHAT task?" Bones said

"Oh! Yes." Uhuru finally interrupted "The caterpillar said that the prophecy foresaw Alice. This Alice." She said, nodding in Bones direction "To save us from the clutches of the Queen of Hearts."

"Queen of Hearts?" Bones scoffed. "What the hell is a Queen of Hearts?"

"Oh." Jim piped "She could be the Queen of _MY _heart any day." He said, seemingly lost in a daze. "She's the most beautiful woman in all of Wonderland. She has hair as dark as night, eyes as blue as ice. Oh, and that _body!" _Kirk growled.

"I don't really want to hear about your creep fantasies, Jim." Said Bones, irritated that the matter of the queen had once again joined the conversation. "Look folks, I'm a doctor not a knight in shining amour, and quite frankly I'm not too fond of killing a lady."

"Who said anything about a lady?" chimed Kirk

"You did!" He said, annoyed and confused

"I most certainly did NOT!" Kirk yelled back. The sudden eruption stirred the small, sleeping man beside Bones who jumped to a seated position and began to, as if on demand, recite some crazy nursery rhyme.

"Twinkle, Twinkle little BAT! How I vonder where you're AT! Up above ze world you fly, like a starship in ze sky…" It was Chekov, well sort of. Only he had two large round mouse ears atop his head of curly blond hair.

"Wait…STARSHIP!" he said, grabbing Chekov firmly by his shoulders "What did you say about a starship. Come on, man! Speak up!" he said, shaking his comrade rather violently. It was no use. Chekov simply drifted back to sleep and began snoring loudly in the doctor's hands.

"Well, he's a real help." He said, fuming.

"You know it's rude to shake a dormouse. They don't like it." Said that hatter, with an arrogant flare to his voice.

"You know what else is rude, Jim." Bones spat "Asking some random stranger to go kill your evil queens. I'd say that's mighty RUDE too."

"The NERVE!" The hatter yelled. "Alice clearly doesn't want to help us. I say we just let her find her own way back to her starship."

"Fine! I'm sure it would be a lot easier than going on some crazy adventure to overthrow a wicked dictator!" Bones yelled before jumping to a standing position. He had had enough of his "friends" and their crazy behavior. He was determined to find a way out of this mess, even if it meant avoiding all contact with the world's inhabitants.

Without warning, a loud sound of clashing metal and hooves was heard. The trees not far off began to sway and everyone at the party lost their jolly demeanor. Carol had quickly disappeared to avoid the oncoming confrontation and before McCoy could react, he felt Jim's hands shoving some liquid into his mouth. Suddenly he felt his body and his clothes tighten and shrink. It had to be the most uncomfortable feeling Bones had ever experienced, but his thoughts were quickly interrupted as he felt large fingers lift his small frame and shove him into a teapot. When he looked up, he saw Jim motioning him to stay quite. The sound of horses could be heard and a voice spoke out.

"Where's Alice!" the man hissed. Bones hoisted himself to look through the small crack in the pot to see who the imposing voice belonged to. His eyes widened with disbelief…Nero was seated on a massive, black horse, which was adorned in red fabric and gold decorations. He was wearing plates of coal black armor, and held a pointed spear in his hand, which ascended to a tip that was shaped like a red heart. Bones was pretty certain it used to be gold.

"Who's asking?" he heard Jim say, keeping an unusually calm demeanor in the presence of the overbearing Romulan.

"Don't get funny with me, hatter!" he spat "You know I represent the Queen of Hearts. The fairest queen in all of Wonderland and any surrounding fantasy land."

"Hehe." The hatter giggled. "How much did your precious queen pay you to say that?" He jested. He heard the shatter of china as a spear from one of the queen's henchman landed in the table.

"Where's ALICE!" Nero growled, clearly growing impatient.

"I haven't the foggiest idea who this Alice is. But do tell your lovely queen I've been asking for her. It's been oh so long and our last encounter left much to be…desired." He said, still giggling.

"You will pay for your insolence toward the Queen of Wonderland!" Nero called.

"Oh. What a shame. I don't seem to have anything on me right now. Do you take checks?" the hatter laughed.

"Here!" the voice of Scotty rang out "HAVE SOME TEA!" the sound of china shattering in the direction of Nero was received by an eruption of laughter from the group seated at the table.

"You know what?" Nero said, seemingly bored with the encounter "You're all MAD."

"Why, thank you!" called Scotty, stirring another giggle from the crowd. Bones saw Nero turn to leave.

"Oh, If you do happen to see Alice, tell her that the Queen of Hearts is anxious to make her acquaintance." He said before letting out a boisterous, cold laugh. With that he galloped off into the distance.

"That was close." Jim finally said as he opened the teapot and hoisted the doctor's small form to the table.

"Who the HELL was THAT?" Bones demanded

"That's the knave. The Queen's head henchman. It appears that someone has made her aware of your arrival" said Uhura nervously.

"Oh. How lovely. I bet you anything it was that hobgoblin of a caterpillar. Something wasn't quite right about him." This received a sharp glare from Nyota, to which Bones coughed and changed the subject.

"It's really irrelevant who told the queen, you know." Said the hatter "what matters is that she will likely cause havoc upon all of Wonderland until she finds you or you defeat her. Whichever comes first."

Bones thought for a moment and then realized he had little left to say. "Fine. I'll help you defeat your evil queen. I mean-" he hesitated for a minute "How bad can she be?"

The only response was a series of timid stares and a nervous chuckle from the hatter. _Great _Bones thought to himself. How bad _could she be? _


	6. The Melancholy Death of Marcus Walrus

"SOMEONE HAS STOLEN THREE OF MY TARTS!"

Two massive doors exploded forward as the Queen of Hearts tore through the threshold, followed by a pack of red-shirted henchmen. The Queen was a tall, overbearing figure of power towering at least six feet in height. Thick locks of black hair sat gracefully under a magnificent, jeweled crown and the queen's eyes, ice blue and cold, peered at the subjects from behind the view of the black waterfall. Not a single person moved. All remained dead silent as the Queen of Hearts prowled silently, like a panther ready to strike, before the crowd of unsuspecting citizens. The queen walked silently, with only the light click of heels until the dreadful monarch reached a particularly fidgety red shirt. The cadet kept his eyes closed as he clutched his hands tightly behind his back. He was praying that the Queen would not focus on him. His greatest nightmare was realized. The sound of clicking came to a halt and the young cadet opened his eyes, he saw a black, leather combat boot standing directly before him. The owner was tapping his toe lightly. The cadet raised his attention to face the deadly monarch and his soft blue eyes met with ice.

"Did you steal my tarts?" The queen's voice was a low growl that resonated throughout the hall. A shiver made its way through the crowd, but still not a single sound was heard. The red shirt swallowed loudly, still trying his best to avoid the queen's sharp glare. When he had finally gathered enough courage, he forced his head to shake slightly, hoping the queen would move on to harass another cadet in the crowd. Much to his horror, the queen did not move. Instead, the monarch lowered to face the young cadet leaving their faces a mere inches from one another. The queen's inhaled deeply. The second which passed felt more like an hour to the cadet as he stood there, shaking, praying for the queen to move on. The queen's cold eyes opened to meet the cadet's.

"Then why does your breath smell like strawberry?" The cadet could no longer maintain his composure. He fell into a panic attack as the queen's guards took hold of him and threw him to his knees.

"Hmmmm…" The queen's low voice sent shivers up the cadet's spine.

"What should we do with the insubordinate, your highness?" The queen considered the young cadet before him. He couldn't have been more than seventeen. A demonic smile played across the queen's features.

"Off with his head." The young cadet let out a blood-curdling scream at the sound of his death sentence. The Queen turned away from the cadet, the smile never leaving his lips as he proceeded back into the palace followed by his pack of guards.

The queen settled himself onto his throne, kicking his legs over the arm of the chair. He arched his back in a much-desired stretch as he prepared himself for another day. His eyes were only closed for a second when the doors to the throne room burst open and Nero erupted in a clatter of metal. The Queen of Hearts shut his eyes tightly as a look of annoyance played across his stone features.

"Your highness!" Nero was panting "We have him!" he finally exclaimed. The queen's eyes shot open.

"Bring him to me!" he demanded.

"Yes, my queen." Nero said, genuflecting before turning to recover the prisoner. The Queen's face contorted into a maniacal smile. After years of torture, years of pursuing the very man who had taken everything from him, the Queen of Heart's would finally have his revenge.

The room where Marcus had found himself was dark and cold. The only light came from small torches that were bolted to the walls of the long, dark corridor. Marcus was shivering as much as his tight bonds would allow as he nervously looked around hoping to catch sight of his captor. A deep, resonant laugh echoed the halls as a shadow grew in the distance. The figure was tall and muscular and pursued him with dangerous grace and intent. When the light of the flames made contact with the face of mysterious man, Marcus gasped in horror at the sight of ice blue.

"You!" He yelled as he began to flail his fins to and from, trying to free himself of his binds. "Get away from me. Do you understand!? Get AWAY!" He screamed, his voice cracking from the intensity of his cries. Another laugh echoed through the halls, ripping Marcus from his fit of hysteria.

"Well, Marcus. It seems our paths have crossed yet again. Tell me, did you not expect this day to come?" he mused, his eyes never leaving the shivering form of his pray. The large walrus of a man shivered as his captor advanced.

"What do you want with me? I only did what I did because it was what was best!" He cried.

"What was best for YOU!" the Queen of Hearts roared as a knee met with Marcus, winding him. "You never cared who you hurt, so long as it helped you achieve your means. You will pay for that, Marcus. You will pay for what you did to my family!" The Queen was hot with fury, his eyes staring daggers through the defenseless form of the walrus. "My _family._" The queen hissed "They were defenseless, sleeping in there 72 little oyster shells when you swooped down and destroyed _every last one _of the people I _held most dear." _Another knee collided with Marcus, this time hitting him square in the jaw. The strength behind the blow was beyond that of a regular human. "You are the monster, Walrus Marcus. And I will have my vengeance!" He said as he pulled himself to full height. The Queen of Hearts placed his hands on the walrus's head, his cold icy stare never leaving Marcus's watery eyes. "You. Should have let me sleep." He said, and with that he crushed the man's skull and the sound of blood hitting the walls echoed through the corridors.

"Your majesty…" the voice of Nero was timid as he approached the heavily breathing form of the deranged monarch. "You realize that you have an executioner on hand….with an axe….It's a lot cleaner if nothing else." He managed, earning a sniff of dismissal from the Queen.

"Yes. I realize that, knave." He said, his eyes low and a hint of pride in his face "But some things are best attended to…._personally." _he purred. The knave fidgeted uncomfortably, heavy with the burden of the news he had to relay to the Queen. The Queen of Hearts was, at the moment, relishing the in the pride of defeating his arch nemesis, but his temper was fiery and dangerous. It took very little to evoke his wrath.

"Your highness…" he continued after sometime. "I…might have some bad news.." he continued. The Queen turned his gaze to a glare as he awaited whatever news Nero had brought.

"I'm waiting" the venom in the queen's voice was potent enough to kill.

"….." Nero couldn't find his voice

"WELL!?" The Queen roared, throwing Nero down to his knees while pulling his head up to face him.

"ALICE HAS RETURNED TO WONDERLAND!" Nero burst into tears. The Queen tossed him to the side where he remained sobbing uncontrollably.

"_What?" _he hissed with deadly intent.

"Alice…." He sobbed "She's come to kill you." A demonic smile cracked across the queen's features.

"Let her come." He said, kicking the lifeless body of the walrus aside as he exited the chamber leaving blood and a sobbing knave in his wake.


	7. Chapter 7: The Hatter's Tale

Chapter 7: The Hatter's Tale

Jim, the hatter trudged onward through the forest to some unknown destination. The small figure of McCoy was seated in the hatter's outstretched palm, clutching tightly to his thumb for stability.

"Jim, could I ask you where in God's name you're taking us?" The doctor received no response. The hatter's eyes were focused intensely on some distant image. Whether that image was real or a fabrication of Jim's insanity was yet to be seen. Whatever it was, it had his undivided attention. After several minutes the late captain finally spoke, but it wasn't something soothing to McCoy's ear.

"The beast…." He growled, his face contorting in rage and disgust. " Jaws that bite and claws that catch…."

"Claws?" Bones choked nervously… "Is that the beast you were all talking about back there at that…..party of yours?" Party wasn't quite as accurate a word as the doctor could find, but it was the least offensive means to describe the insanity he had just encountered.

"There are many beasts in Wonderland, my little friend…" he said, still focused on the distant mirage, his voice dripping with venomous hatred. "To which are you referring?"

"Don't play with me, Jim. The beast I need to slay. The one that works for that crazed queen of yours." Came the doctor's heated reply.

"Oh. No. I was actually referring to the queen. I figured you'd like to have a description to go by in case you two ever cross paths." He said, his light-hearted mannerisms returning to him. McCoy rolled his eyes in disbelief at his friend's antics.

"Listen, Jim. Could we take a rest for a minute? There's something I've been meaning to say." He managed finally.

"No, no, no, my little figurine. We haven't the time or the safety to stop in our journey just yet. The great Frabjous day is upon us, and you have some slaying to do." He said, waggling his finger like a mother scolding a misbehaved child.

"How the hell do you expect me to kill some sort of monster?!" Bones squeaked,

"The legend tells you all you need to know." Said Jim, his voice low and severe.

"Legend?" Bones

"He took his vorpal sword in hand:  
Long time the manxome foe he sought -  
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,  
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,  
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,  
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,  
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!  
He left it dead, and with its head  
He went galumphing back." Jim growled, his voice deeper and more venomous than McCoy had ever heard. The feeling of fire rose to his throat as it took every bit of self-discipline to keep himself from vomiting.

"Jim, that's exactly what we need to talk about. Dammit man, I'm a doctor, not some sort of prince charming."

"Oh, pity" replied the hatter, seemingly disheartened.

"Stop that!" Bones demanded, catching his friend by surprise.

"You know, you really shouldn't yell. You sound awfully squeaky at such a tiny size."

"Jim!" Bones growled. ""Jim, listen to me! I'd really hate to cut out little adventure short but I can't just run in and slay a queen and her pet dragon. I've only been in a couple fights in my life and they didn't exactly work in my favor."

"I wouldn't call it a dragon. It's more of a giant, purple lizard with wings." Piped Jim, hoping to raise the little knight's spirits.

"Oh, wow. What a difference?!" he said with sarcastic enthusiasm. "You know, Jim. I've met some crazy individuals in my time. Very crazy individuals. One time I had a two-hour philosophical conversation with a Gorn hyped up on figglewart roots. The stuffs got a nasty hallucinogenic affect and he had enough to fry his brain like an egg!" The hatter just continued to look at the small doctor, his eyes wide with curiosity.

"I don't get it." Came the hatter's wide-eyed reply. At that, Bones decided to change the subject. It was no use trying to fight madness.

"So, this queen. Is she… as mad as-" he decided the word _"you" _was not the best choice of comparison "as the rest of the group back there made her seem?" he finally continued. The hatter's eyes darkened and again focused on that distant place.

"The Queen of Hearts is the least "mad" of all of us." He said.

"I don't understand. How is that possible?"

"The Queen of Hearts is the most evil, manipulative and malevolent individual in all of Wonderland. We are all mad, my friend. But, do not be mislead to believe that those affected by madness, the ones who make no sense, are the ones you should fear. You will find the most dangerous enemies you will face are usually the ones with their wits about them." Said the hatter, leaving Bones unsure of how to respond.

The pair continued through the forest in silence for several minutes. Every now and again Bones would catch a glimpse of some strange creature. One time he swore he caught sight of a butterfly made of pound cake, but he refused to allow himself to believe such lunacy. McCoy decided after sometime that the silence was more hazardous to his health than the mad ramblings of his friend. The silent reflections and assessments of his current predicament were causing him to feel a rise of acid in his stomach, so he took the liberty of starting up a conversation.

"You said, back at the tea party, that you and the queen met once before. I take it you two didn't hit it off too well?" he said, trying to keep from treading into any dangerous territory.

"The queen tried to kill me. So I guess it's safe to say we…how is it you put it… hit it off?" Bones quirked an eyebrow upward.

"Not exactly the way I'd put it_. _If the queen tried to kill you the last time, what make you think your going to get away so lucky this time?" he said, genuinely interested, readying his brain for the pile of psychosis ready to fly his way.

"The queen is a peculiar creature of Wonderland who has caused harm to many docile creatures. More disturbing than that, the Queen of Hearts seems to get a sense of thrill out of causing others pain." He said, keeping his eyes wondering around the treetops far from Bones questioning eyes. "Miss Alice, I know the people back at my little tea party did not seem like much to you, but they are my family, and I would do anything for them. Even kill the Queen of Hearts if it meant that they were free from her savage rule."

"I understand that, Jim. You always were that way with your crew. But isn't there a point where you have to consider your own safety. Do you ever think about what would happen to them if you did die?" This time, more emotion than Bones wanted to feel flooded him. On countless occasions he had watched his friend throw himself into the line of fire to protect the individuals aboard the Enterprise. If anyone would readily take a bullet, it was James T. Kirk. However, this sort of reckless behavior displayed by the captain had always been a bit much for Bones to understand. It frustrated him how little the captain seemed to care about his wellbeing. From the little things like consistently missing his routine check-ups all the way to making an incursion onto an enemy planet to retrieve a crazed terrorist to avenge the death of his friend, James T. Kirk was not afraid of death in the slightest. It was as if he didn't care how his death would harm the people who cared so much about him.

Bones was pulled from thought when he felt the hand beneath him lift suddenly, but carefully. He was now at eye-level staring face to face with Jim.

"Tell me, little Alice." He said with a soft expression. "Is there anything you would not do for _your _family?" The words echoed in his mind for hours as they walked silently on through the forest.


	8. Chapter 8: The Pursuit

**Hello, Everyone. I have to say I am really loving all of the enthusiastic reviews and favorites for this little story. I'm sorry it took so long for me to update. That being said, I want to thank the several of you who gave me the little push of encouragement to keep going with the story. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy! **

Chapter 8: The Pursuit

The pair trudged silently through the forest as nighttime fell upon the land, masking the path ahead of them in shadows. Bones began to feel uneasy as they continued through the dense brush into the late hours of the night. However distracted he was at the imminent danger they were facing, his mind was still tightly wrapped around his friend's last words to him.

_"Is there anything you would not do for your family?" _

Just remembering the glimmer of pain in Jim's eyes sent shivers down McCoy's spine and he forced himself, for better or for worse to focus on the task ahead. A cold wind blew over their faces, pulling McCoy from his thoughts. It was then that he noticed they had stopped moving. The hatter's eyes were squinted and he tilted his head slightly upward, as if he was trying to hear some sort of sound. Several seconds passed and Bones was sure he had heard nothing, nothing but the howling wind through the treetops overhead. Bones cleared his throat, and just as he was about to speak Jim turned his face to him.

"am-….bush…" Jim managed through his trembling jaws.

"What?" McCoy spat, not making sense of his friend's frantic mumble.

"AMBUSH!" Jim roared, clasping his fingers tightly over McCoy's small frame as he quickened his pace to an apoplectic sprint. McCoy threw his arms out beside him to prevent Jim from squishing his fragile form in the palm of his hand. McCoy was able to find a small gap between the hatter's fingers and he brought himself up to see the faces of their pursuers. Behind them, an army of men and women were sprinting full force through the trees, firing phaser blasts at the pair as they tore through the trail. Jim was panting heavily as he reared a tight turn and crouched down behind a tree. The clamber of boots proceeded past them and once the coast had cleared, Jim released his grip on the tiny doctor.

"I do say, that was a tad inconvenient." Jim said, still out of breath from the chase.

"To hell it was! Why were those Starfleet officers chasing us, Jim?"

"Those are the redshirts, my little friend. They make up a majority of the queen's foot army. Rumor has it that they used to work for the White Queen before she was dethroned."

McCoy shook his head as he tried to process the information his friend has just given him

"Wait, there's another queen?"

"Why yes! The White Queen." He said, placing McCoy on a mushroom. The hatter sat on his heels and clasped his hands together like an excited child. "She is the most beautiful queen in all of Wonderland. She was gracious, just and kind and kept all of the land in a state of peace until she was overthrown by the Red Queen." He said. McCoy kept a strong hold of his skeptical stare.

"You knew her?" he asked, trying to keep the tone light.

"I guess you could say we were very close friends." He said, smiling slyly. _Jim never changes _McCoy thought to himself. _Leave it to him to have an affair with a royal. _"Well, enough of this silly talk." Jim piped. "We must get you to your destination. The Frabjous day is nearly upon us and we have plenty of preparation to do." Jim grabbed McCoy by the waist and placed him on his shoulder.

"Wait a second, Jim!" McCoy said, frantically "Don't you think it's a little dark out here to be trudging along?"

"I can see just fine, silly Alice."

"Yeah, well I can't. Look Jim" McCoy said, hurrying up to the hatter's large ear. "You don't poke out both of your eyeballs, before running into a cage of starved guard dogs!" He said, intensely.

"I don't take your meaning, little Alice." He said, slightly disheartened.

"Dammit, Jim! Listen to me. It's wiser to just wait until it's light out. I'm not a fan of getting shot at in a blind run when the odds are a hundred to two."

"Oh, I see now. Miss Alice is sleepy. Why didn't you just say so? A lady should have her rest, Heavens knows you need some beauty sleep. You're beginning to grow a beard, Miss Alice and it is not very becoming if I do say so myself." He said, waggling a finger

"Yeah? Well, I have to say I'm not digging the whole clown makeup, big shoes thing your sporting these days either. Not much of a lady killer look."

"Nonsense, Alice. When one wants to attract ladies, it would be unwise to look like a 'lady-killer'. Otherwise, you'll frighten them away." He said, sucking in his bottom lip in disapproval at the doctor's criticism. McCoy let out a laugh, despite himself.

"Alright, you big lunatic. Let's find a good, safe place to settle for the night." He said, patting a small hand on the hatter's back.


	9. Chapter 9: A Most Unfortunate Encounter

**Hello Everyone. A couple people have recently asked me if I would allow them to do a fan art tribute to this series. I am flattered and I will say to anyone wanting to do something like that "Please do and send me the link." I would love to see your art! **

**On a side note that's still related… I really love all of your kind words, favorites and follows. Please keep them coming and remember that I always welcome suggestions. **

Chapter 9: A Most Unfortunate Encounter

After some time of trudging though the shadowy woods, the hatter finally found a suitable place to rest. He placed McCoy on a small log and began to clear away some of the debris. Once he was finished piling some leaves together for comfort, Jim took a step back to admire his handy work with a nod. McCoy's eyes never left the form of his strange friend, taking in all of his bizarre mannerisms and comparing them to the young starship captain he had known for so many years. He couldn't help but snicker at the thought of Jim's reaction if he had ever come across this strange, fantastical version of himself. _What is that bastard doing right now? _He thought to himself as a sentimental smile played across his features. Upon arriving in Wonderland, Bone's hadn't really had the time to sit and consider his friends back at the Enterprise. Now, in the dead silence of the woods he was forced into a painful recollection of all of the people he found himself admittedly missing. _Damn…What I wouldn't give to see them again. _McCoy inhaled deeply as a rush of memories clouded his mind. He even found himself thinking fondly of his Vulcan commander. _This place really does drive people mad, _he thought with a light chuckle. He couldn't help but be amused at the thought of Spock raising a skeptical eyebrow as he told his friends about his adventures in the hallucinogenic fantasyland. Just as he began to sink deeper into nostalgic thought, Jim broke his concentration by leaping headfirst into the leaf pile, sending a cloud of debris in his direction. McCoy threw his hands out to cover his face from the projectile twigs with a grunt. Bones watched as the hatter buried himself under his pile. McCoy couldn't help but think that his friend resembled some sort of brightly colored creature from one of the many crazy alien planets he had explored with the team. Silence fell around them as the sound of Jim's rustling leaf pile subsided as he relaxed beneath it. McCoy watched as the pile slowly rose and fell with his friend's calm, sleepy breaths and when Bone's was certain the surroundings were silent enough to be uninhabited, he finally settled down on a patch of strange red moss growing from the log and watched the stars until he fell into a deep, reminiscent dream.

McCoy's let out a groan as the morning light filtered through his sleepy eyelids and he rolled to plant his face deeper into his mossy bedding. Sleep was just beginning to take hold of him when a jagged cry echoed through the reticent morning air. McCoy leapt to his feet as wave of terror shot a wave of heat throughout his body. _Jim. _

The doctor tore through the dense forest floor as fast as his inch long legs would allow, following the direction of his friend's tortured cry. The chill of paralysis overtook him when his eyes fell upon his friend's coercer. Before Jim's cowering form was the massive body of Nero, clad in a suit of magnificently shined black amour. He was wielding a blade, black as ink, which curved into a gruesome hook just the right angle to remove a person's head from the shoulders with a single, strong swipe. The sight of the night-black soldier was, alone, the material of nightmares. However, the beast he was mounting overshadowed it. The repulsive, black-furred monstrosity held its enormous weight on four stout and massive paws, each adorned with eight hooked claws resembling the jet-black iron of Nero's blade. The beast's torso was roughly comparable to an elephant's in size and musculature and it was evident as even a man of Nero's incredible size struggled to wrap his legs securely around the back of it. Despite the monster's massive frame, it was the face and head that unnerved the doctor beyond any other feature. McCoy had traveled through space and encountered countless of the galaxies most repulsive existences, yet he had never seen anything quite like the creature before him. The head was just about half the size of the body. The enormous weight seemed to attach seamlessly to the body as no neck of any size or shape could support its burden. The mouth stretched over a canine-like muzzle and began at the furthest end on either jaw so that when the creature bared its ivory fangs, its mouth appeared to unhinge like a snake's, it's lower jaw hanging loosely under the burden of its incredible size. Its teeth were longer than the height of the creature's snout and protruded past closed lips. The large ivory masts forming a cage over the beast's face, clicking as its jaw swayed. Its electric, white, pupiless eyes were focused on its prey. McCoy had never felt so helpless in his entire life.

"O-o-o-oh!" Jim sputtered, cowering behind his hands. "What a n-n-nice little d-d-dog you have there, very s-s-suiting." He uttered, chuckling nervously.

"Oh? You mean the Bandersnatch? Yes, he's a bit aggressive though. Would you like to pet him?" Nero mocked as a cruel smile distorted his features. His eyes grew wide with shock as the hatter reached his hands forward to tap the massive beast on the head. At the sudden movement, the beast opened its cage of fangs and let out a bellowing howl that sent McCoy falling back from the shock. The hatter wiped a sufficient amount of saliva away from his coated brow and let out another nervous chuckle. Nero let out a thunderous laugh at the absurd looking man before him.

"Well, they did always say owners have a strange tendency to resemble their pets. I'd say this breed was a good fit for you." The hatter said, laughing madly. His high-pitched fit agitated the Bandersnatch and caused it to swipe a massive clawed paw. Jim, still rolling about madly, avoided contact with the blow and Nero struggled to regain his balance, as he cracked the whip across the animal's large backside.

"You really are MAD!" Nero spat, enraged by the hatter's brazen behavior. "You know, it's a real shame the queen has requested I retrieve you alive." He said as he leapt from the back of the beast. He approached the hatter with dangerous intent and grabbed hold of his collar to pull him to eye level. Jim's feet dangled nearly a foot above the ground as he gasped to breath in Nero's strong grip. "Because, I would really like to see what color a madman's blood runs when he's cut across the throat." He growled as a demented smile cracked from his lips.

"Can I tell you a little secret?" Jim sputtered, as his gloved hands lifted as high as he could manage to beckon the knave to come closer. Nero considered the man with a look of fury and bemusement, before he leaned in slightly. "Closer" the hatter choked, waving a little more. Nero sighed at the ridiculousness of the situation, but obliged out of curiosity of whatever this madman had up his sleeve. When Nero's face was mere inches from Jim's, Jim let out a loud hacking cough, being sure to mist the unsuspecting knave in saliva before he contintued. Nero jumped back, disgusted and wiped his mouth clean with his free arm. "I have never told another soul * COUGH * what I am about to tell you. It is * HACK COUGH * Something the Red Queen once asked me to reveal, but I never obliged." Nero's face fell stone cold as he considered the crazed man before him and the dark secrets he claimed to hold. "Come….._closer" _Jim beckoned. Nero lowed the hatter so that he was supported by his toes, no longer gasping, but still short of breath as he leaned his ear mere inches from the hatter.

"I'm _waiting." _Nero growled. The hatter's eyes grew dark as he inhaled slowly, as he prepared himself.

"Sala….ga…._dooola." _He said, darkly. "Mechicka….._booooola." _Nero's eyes squinted as he tried to make sense of the hatter's rambling. "Bibbidi…bobbidi…..BOO!" He shouted, lifting a free arm to smack Nero square on the head. "Oh Goodness, this is no good. I thought I should have turned you into a frog. Oh well, I really must work on that when I get back to my unbirthday party." He said, as he continued to laugh merrily. Nero roared in fury as he threw the hatter to the ground. He lifted a large, metal-clad boot and stomped on the hatter's leg, ushering a howl of pain from the latter before he grabbed the small whimpering man by the neck.

"The Red Queen said she wanted you _alive…" _he snarled. "Well accidents can happen!" He bellowed as he raised his hooked blade high above his head. With that, the small doctor acted without a second though as he raced toward the feet of the towering beast. _What the hell am I going to do to this thing? _He thought frantically as he watched Jim try to fend off Nero's assaults. The blade crashed down upon the hatter, who tried to deflect it with his arm. It swiftly cut the material of his jacked and bright red blood had begun to crawl along the yellow satin as Jim let out a howl of pain. Before Bones could consider the logic behind his actions, he took two fistfuls of the animals fur and savagely bit down of the creatures paw, ushering a magnificent, blood-curdling howl, which threw the fighting pair forward. Nero tumbled from Jim's frame and turned back in horror as he watched the beast rise upward on its hind legs, a slashing hurricane of claws, jaws and blazing marble white eyes. McCoy was thrown violently from the raging beast's paw and catapulted into the dirt several feet away. The cloud of dirt cleared and McCoy felt his back against something hard, but he was unable to move to see what was becoming of the confrontation before him. He could still hear the howl of the monster, although it faded as he fell into darkness.

**Hello! I hope you are enjoying the avenues I am taking with Trekkies in Wonderland. I am always up for suggestions, critique and reviews. I have gotten some awesome feedback and I am very grateful for all of your kind and encouraging words. Thanks a ton to the people who favorite, follow and review. **

**Just a head's up, I have been struggling filling some roles for the upcoming chapters, which is why my updates have been few and far between. That being said, I am adding a couple of cute little OCs. Nothing special that will take from the plot or the actual characters. Just a little cute entertainment to keep the story going. Let me know what you think. **


	10. Chapter 10: Lonely Travels

**Sincerest apologies that this chapter is somewhat long and seemingly uneventful. I promise lots of fun in the upcoming chapter and perhaps even a little more Red Queen action for those of you who have been anxiously waiting for a reappearance. **

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 10: Lonely Travels

When Bones finally awoke, night had fallen over the land. He waited, silently and without movement, as he anticipated some sort of sound that indicated danger. Only the soft chirping of the nighttime insects greeted him. When he had assured himself the coast was clear, he leapt to his feet but his body resisted as a wave of electrifying pain shot up his spine causing his legs to cave beneath him. McCoy let out a yelp of pain, which he quickly smothered in his hand, hoping his outburst didn't attract the unwanted attention of any nearby predators. He waited in silence for a couple seconds and when no movement or sound caught his attention, he proceeded to carefully push himself to his feet. He swayed momentarily to correct his balance and looked around to determine a course of action. He had been flung several, who knew how many feet, across the forest floor from the spot where Nero confronted Jim.

_Jim! _McCoy was suddenly frantic to follow the impulse to run forward in pursuit of his the hatter. He erupted into the clearing where he had confronted the massive monster. He ran to the spot where the massive tree trunks had given way to the creature's incredible fury and looked for any signs that his captain might have survived the confrontation.

"No! No, no no! Come on. Give me something. Anything!" McCoy grunted as he searched the area for some sign of Jim's presence or some hint to his whereabouts. McCoy's face flushed as the heat of panic overwhelmed him. A hot tear escaped from his eye as he struggled to keep his mind clear and focused on the task at hand. All at once overwhelmed by fear, the doctor threw himself to the ground and pounded his fists as his frustration brought more tears from his eyes. A cold sensation on his hands pulled McCoy back to reality and his eyes struggled to gain focus. He lifted his fist to meet his eyes. The moonlight filtered through the trees reflected from the liquid that covered the underside of his fists and McCoy picked up an all-too-familiar, metallic scent. _Blood. _He leapt to his feet, squinting in pain but still managing to maintain his balance and realization spread across his features. The patch of blood stained the forest floor a sickening shade of crimson and Bones felt himself becoming dizzy at the thought.

"J-Jim!" McCoy choked as tears welled from his eyes. Bones wondered until the morning sun began to peak through the canopy. It fell on his face, warming him from the nighttime chill, but the doctor was unfazed, still mourning as the scent of death remained in his mind. He walked, almost autonomously, through the dense forest floor not caring whether he was visible to any and all predators that might want to make an early breakfast out of his inch high frame. He hadn't noticed that the further he traveled, the lighter the forest became. Finally, and without warning, he was consumed by the morning sunlight. McCoy shielded his eyes and looked up to see that the morning sky was revealed and he was no longer under the cover of the forest trees. He had found his way out. _Great. _He thought as he ruffled a hand through his messy hair. His eyes were burning from exhaustion and it wasn't until now that he realized his stomach was aching from starvation. The doctor continued on, leaving the forest and all the terrible scent of death behind him, but the images were burned into the forefront of his mind. McCoy traveled, relentlessly and soon the heat of the midday sun was beating upon his shoulders. He could feel his knees growing weak from exhaustion and he finally caved to his body's desire to rest. Bones felt his back cool against the grass as he prayed for a breeze. He sat silently in thought, wondering where he was meant to go. Upon arriving to Wonderland, McCoy was convinced the easiest thing to do would be to find a sensible being who could point him in the direction of the nearest police station. After many days, he realized that plan was about as mad as any. _Perhaps I can find the damn person who stole my shit. _Bones thought bitterly. _If I can get a hold of my communicator, then I can contact the Enterprise and…_

"WHA!" McCoy was ripped back to reality by a cold, rough sensation, which lifted him off of the ground and planted him on his feet. The first thing he realized was that he was soaking wet. "What the hell!?" McCoy yelled as he frantically looked upon the face of his assaulter. McCoy was greeted by two glowing green slits. A massive grey feline stood on all fours, its head cocked upward as it considered the little man before it. _Great. _McCoy huffed _Just what I need, another weapons specialist. _McCoy took a small bow forward.  
"Where are my manners? The name's Leonard McCoy. _Dr. _Leonard McCoy. What's your name, little darlin'" he said, extending his hand. The feline stood motionless when suddenly, without warning, it swiped a clawed paw. McCoy retracted his hand, missing the painful blow by a nanosecond. "Not exactly the most articulate of your kind, are ya?" he said, nervously. "Let's try this again. I'm Doctor McCoy of the U.S.S. Enterprise. What's your name?" He said, this time wise enough to keep his hand safely in his pocket. The cat leaned its chest to the ground and began to wave its rear end in the air. McCoy had recognized the behavior a little too late and the massive feline was already upon him. "SHIT!" McCoy bellowed, startling the cat just long enough for him to react. He thrust a strong punch to the animals nose, causing it to retract enough for him to pull free. He bolted forward with the animal in pursuit. His legs gave out and he rolled, uncontrollably down a small grassy mound. He turned to see the grey tabby readying herself for another leap and he shut his eyes tightly, bracing himself for pain when he felt a pair of small hands grip him tightly by the shoulder and throw him to the side.

"OUCH!" McCoy cried as his wounded back flared in response.

"Sorry!" a small voice cried out "You'll thank me later." It piped, enthusiastically. McCoy rubbed his back as he turned to face whomever the voice belonged to. A was amazed to see a small mouse standing on its hind legs before the massive feline. The cat let out a vicious hiss as the mouse wielded what looked like a large sewing needed and waved it in the animals face. "Ah HA!" he said, dancing gracefully on his hind legs, missing a violent swipe by a hair. "Be gone, you foul beast, before I make your hide into a nice throw rug!" the mouse tauntingly chuckled as the cat hissed again. The feline pounced and McCoy closed his eyes, bracing himself for a gruesome death scene when he heard the animal howl in pain. When he looked up, he saw the mouse was seated on the cat's head and his needle was placed in the soft, pink cushion of the animal's nose. The cat threw the mouse from its head and leaped across the grass, running out of sight. "COWARD!" the mouse roared, before erupting into a fit of laughter. "You okay there, my friend?" He said, offering a small paw to Bones. The doctor couldn't help but marvel at the sight before him. _A mouse taking on a cat? _He thought to himself with a smile _Wait until the guys back at Starfleet get a load of this. _

"Thank you." McCoy said, shaking the mouse's paw. "I really appreciate your help back there."

"Not a problem" was his proud response. "I always like to help a fellow in need!" he said, swishing his needle ahead of him. Had Bone's not seen what the little creature was capable of he might have thought the sight to be hilarious. Still, he managed to crack a small smile.

"What the hell was wrong with her? Aren't the cats here usually a bit more…_reserved? _I mean the Cheshire Cat seemed all to prim and proper to- ." He was interrupted by a fit of laughter.

"You thought that was a Cheshire Cat?!" he said, before falling back into a high-pitched chuckle.

"Yeah. What about it?" Bones said, seemingly annoyed.

"_That _was no Cheshire Cat my friend. In fact, I haven't even seen many real Cheshires with my own two eyes. Only one, and she tried to make a nice little snack of my loins too." He said, with a shudder.

"Well, forgive my stupidity" Bone's said, sarcastically. "In case you didn't notice I'm not exactly from around here." He said, earning a skeptical stare from the mouse. _He seems so…. familiar. _Bones thought as he considered the little creature before him.

"You're not, eh?" He said, "Well, you have to forgive me. We don't get many foreigners down here. The name's Sulu." He said, smiling boldly. _To hell it is. _Bone's thought to himself.

"Nice to meet you. Leonard McCoy." Bone said with a nod "Well, thanks again for your help, Sulu. If you don't mind, I'm going to get going. I've got to find a white tribble and some maniac wearing my pants. The damn bastard has my communicator." He said as he proceeded to leave the small mouse behind him.

The small creature ran to catch up with him. "You know, you are the oddest fellow I've ever met? Are you sure you're not from around here?" He said, chuckling innocently.

"Yes. I am sure I am not from here." Bone's said, turning to face the mouse. "Look, I'm kind of on some sort of suicide mission to save a good friend of mine, so I'd rather you not pal along. I can't lose another friend today." Bones said, trying to keep his tone as light as possible. The mouse considered him, sympathetically.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Leonard." He said "What do you mean suicide mission?" McCoy focused on Sulu, trying to keep his expression neutral. He wasn't sure if it was wise to trust anyone, but seeing as how his only guide was nowhere to be found he decided it was better to have someone familiar with the area.

"He was…captured." He stated, grimly. "At least, I hope he was captured. He might actually be dead. Killed by that Cumberbatch or whatever the hell it was." He finally added.

"Bandersnatch?!" a look of horror shadowed the mouse's small features as his body began to shudder slightly. McCoy took notice.

"Yeah. That's it." He said, his eyes locked on Sulu. "Look, kid…." He said, considering his decision to take Sulu along. "As I've said, this is too dangerous for a kid like you. We're going to need a lot more than a mouse who's skilled with a pin and a doctor in a dress." He said, trying to alert Sulu of the bitter reality without hurting his feelings. "I really appreciate your willingness to help and all, but I can't let you." He said, with a sigh as he trudged forward.

"Hey! Wait up!" The mouse hollered after him. "At least give me a chance." He said. "I'm not as delicate as I look." He said, puffing out his chest. Bones perceived the effect, which was meant to be intimidating, with slight amusement. "Look kid, unless you have a magic growth potion in that little pouch of yours, I can't imagine how you can help me."

"You mean Upelkuchen?" He said, tilting his head to the side. There's this little shack up the hill from here. The old lady who lives there usually has some cooling on her windowsill. I've snuck in there loads of times to get it. Come with me." He said, beckoning McCoy to follow.

McCoy plundered after the Sulu trying to keep pace as they trudged across the grassy field in pursuit of the cottage.


	11. Chapter 11: Ravens and Writing Desks

Chapter 11: Of Ravens and Writing Desks

"Just as you've requested, your highness." Nero paraded across the throne room, approaching the throne of the Red Queen. His prisoner, who was gripped tightly by the hair, was dragging along silently while clutching onto his top hat for dear life. Nero violently tossed the colorful heap before the feet of the Red Queen, making sure the strength of the impact was severe enough to wind the fragile man. The Queen's icy blue eyes bore down into the form lying at the foot of the throne. The queen placed the tip of a strong black boot on the hatter's face and gently wiped away the droplet of blood that had tricked down his jaw. An expression of synthetic sympathy played across the queen's stone features as he toyed with the injured man's face. Nero watched the Queen playing with their captor with a quizzical expression. He cleared his throat, but the queen paid no attention.

"Our paths have crossed yet again." The Queen's deep baritone filled the hall. His voice was smooth, but dripping with venomous intent. Each word articulated as sharp as any blade could cut. Nero shuddered, despite his efforts to remain controlled in the queen's presence. If the monarch noticed, he paid him no mind. His icy eyes remained fixed on the crumpled form before him and it was evident that the man was destined to become prey to the bloodthirsty royal.

"I see you are still _great _with people." The hatter finally managed to speak, his tone light and slightly sardonic. The Red Queen's expression remained stone, but the toe of the black boot began to press firmly against the hatter's jaw, pushing his head against the floor.

"Hmm." His voice growled, octaves below the expected range of the human voice "Still the joker I see." The Queen said, his tone passive as ever. "You never learn, do you hatter?" He said, his eyes focused ahead of his, lost in savage thought. His boot still firmly placed against the hatter's jaw, keeping him fixed into position beneath him.

"It appears- umph-that I do not learn much very quickly. Could you kindly take your boot off of my face? I admire the handiwork and all, but it really is very uncomfortable." He said, still light-hearted as ever. If his passive tone bothered the royal, he didn't show it. His expression remained still as ice. In one swift motion, the Red Queen removed his hold on the hatter's face and sent him tumbling down from the throne pedestal to the floor before him. The hatter let out a small cry of surprise as his back hit the cold, stone floor.

"Where's Alice?" The queen's voice again rang through the halls, and its strong vibrations resonating to their bones. His expression, while seemingly unaltered, held a dangerous intensity that did not go unnoticed by the hatter. His eyes pierced through him like lasers, anticipating a quick and painless answer from the quivering little man on the floor before him.

"A-lice?" the hatter played the word around on his tongue, and a look of consideration spread across his features. "Alice? Hmmmm….." The queen's fingers toyed with the golden scepter as the hatter mused over his question. Nero sent a small glance in the queen's direction and his dark brown met with the Red Queen's blue. The queen raised a skeptical eyebrow and redirected his sharp stare back to the little man, who was incoherently mumbling to himself.

"Alice." Came the queen's growling demand.

"Jane." Jim proudly replied, as his smile returned to his painted features. The Red Queen tilted his head and squinted his eyes, waiting for a clarification.

"Oh.." the hatter finally continued "I thought we were playing a game of name the girl!" he said, excitedly clasping his hands together. Nero could no longer contain the anxiety boiling beneath his calm exterior. While the queen seemed to ignore that hatter's antics entirely, Nero knew that the royal was capable of snapping with the ferocity of a dragon with little notice. The hatter was either too stupid or didn't care to realize that the likely result of his antics would be the swift beheading of every living soul in the room. He stormed over to the silly looking man and caught his neck in his crushing vise.

"YOU WILL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO!" He roared, earning a giggle from the hatter. A sonorous snicker pulled Nero's attention to the monarch, whose strong features were contorted in amusement at the knave's display.

"Your…your highness?" Nero beckoned, embarrassed by the Red Queen's reception to his behavior. "I wanted the _prisoner-" _he spat at Jim, who responded with a squeak and a chuckle "To show his majesty the proper respect." Nero said as his figure bowed gracefully before the amused monarch. The Red Queen waved his hand to remove the knave from his presence.

"I no longer require your assistance." The Queen dismissed as his voice still dripped with beguilement at the recent occurrence. The knave turned to face the queen in protest, but locked eyes with the monarch. The icy stare was enough to the man to forget pressing the issue further.

"Yes, your majesty." He said, with a strong bow. "If you require anything else-"

"Yes. Of course." The queen purred, cutting him off. The knave exited the room, and shot a deadly glare at the hatter. Jim responded with a bat of his eyelashes and a wave, which was received by a slamming door. The Red Queen squinted his eyes at the loud crash of the throne room threshold, before returning back to the matter at hand.

"Now.." the queen drawled "On the matter of Miss Alice." With this, the queen rose from his throne and approached the hatter with dangerous intent. Jim looked up to meet the queen's face and swallowed nervously. "I know you have been hiding her."

"I don't recall hiding a 'Miss Alice'" replied the hatter, nervously "But perhaps I have forgotten. You could check under my mattress. That's where I hide all my special things." He said, earning a venomous chuckle from the queen. Without notice, the queen ripped the hat from the man's arms and held it before him to consider it.

"You know.." he mused dangerously "This is a fine hat. It would be such a shame if you had no head on which to wear it." His eyes returned to the hatter's face, who again swallowed nervously. He was shaking and the small charms on his jacket were clacking together, betraying his emotions.

"Why-" the hatter proceeded

"Because you're trying my patience." Came the queen's sharp retort.

"No, silly. I wasn't finished talking yet. I know why you want my head off. Silly Queen." The queen remained unfazed.

"You don't seem to comprehend that I am superior in every respect to your _pathetic _human race." The queen growled as his stare intensified. "And although it might be difficult for you to understand, I expect that you oblige to my whims, or else I will kill you and find another means to get what I want." His tone remained passive, but deadly.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" The hatter questioned as a smile played across his painted features.

"Irrelevant." The queen replied.

"Oh no. You said you were _superior _so this should be easy for you. Unless…." The hatter poked at the queen's boot, earning a swift kick to the gut.

"Because Poe wrote on both."

"Oh, you are good." Replied the hatter, the smile dripping from his face.

"Obviously."

"I know!" excitement boiled over the hatter, causing him to leap to his feet. "You like games."

"I do not."

"Oh yes you do." The hatter mused "You, Mr. Superior. Of course you like games. You always win." Jim taunted.

"Where is the fun in predictable outcomes?" the queen responded, dismissively.

"…Bragging rights?" The hatter tried, but the queen looked at him with an expression devoid of all amusement.

"I have more than enough bragging rights. Winning a match of wits against a witless idiot like yourself will not be anything more than a waste of time." He said, seating himself upon the throne.

"but…don't you want to know your prize?" The queen looked up and the hatter knew he had caught his prey.

"Name it." The queen demanded, a look of interest now very evident on the queen's icy features.

"If _you win…." _The hatter began, bracing himself for the bargain "I will tell you where Miss Alice might be or you may cut off my head." The queen raised an eyebrow "If _I win…." _The hatter continued nervously "I will not tell you anything I know about Miss Alice and you must find another way to acquire the information you seek." He reached out a gloved hand to the royal. "Deal?"

"Hmmm…..No." The Queen grabbed the hatter's hand and tossed him on the ground before him. Before Jim had time to regain his balance, he felt the pressure of two strong hands and either side of his head. "Let's play this out logically, then shall we? Firstly you _will tell me _where Miss Alice is or I _will _kill you, and I will not stop there. I will send an army of my strongest warriors to capture every last one of the people you hold dear and I will bring them to my castle and publicly execute each one of them with my bare hands if they do not provide me with the information I seek. _That _is how we will proceed with this little game."

The queen's mouth curved upward into a sickening smile as he threw the hatter forward to the floor. Jim turned to face the queen, a look of horror clearly placed upon his features.

"Now….shall we begin?"


	12. Chapter 12: The Tweedles

**Hi Everyone, **

**Sorry the update took so long. OC ALERT! This will be illogical. Enjoy! ~MarlaHarrison **

Chapter 12: The Tweedles

"Everything seems to be back into anatomical proportion." Bones said after surveying his properly sized form. He ran his rough hands through his hair, caressing the small lump that was begging to form along the tender area. While their attempt to acquire the magical pastry was successful, Bones managed to get a substantial beating with a roller pin from the old housekeeper who became deranged at the sight of the uninvited guests.

"To be quite honest, I expected that to go a lot smoother. It should have is _someone _had waited until _after _we left the house to eat the upelkuchen."

McCoy raised an eyebrow at Sulu's comment, his face twisted in acceptance that his decision was rather unwise.

"Yeah, well I'm a doctor for heaven's sake. I don't exactly have a lot of experience with growth serums. How was I supposed to know the effects would be immediate?"

Sulu's only response was a heavy shake of his head. The pair continued on in silence. After McCoy's little adventure in the kitchen, the two had forged an unspoken agreement to remain together, at least until McCoy could convince his small friend it was unwise. As nighttime fell upon the traveler's, signifying the end of another day, McCoy's considered how long it had been since he first awoke in this strange new land. Sulu squeaked out a small yawn and Bones lifted his small form into his hands.

"What do you say we turn in for the night?" The doctor's suggestion was received by a second small yawn and a sleepy nod from his comrade, who pulled his small vest tighter to shield him from the nighttime chill. Bone's settled them under a tree, and allowed Sulu to curl up in the security of his dress pocket, which the hum of the strange insects lulled him into the first peaceful sleep since he had arrived in Wonderland.

…

McCoy was pulled from his dreams as the light filtering through his eyelids was disturbed by a flutter of shadows and strange voices fell upon his ears.

"What d'ya think it is, Jerry?"

"It? Don't be stupid, Gary! She's wearin' a dress!"

"Oh, d'ya mean it's a lady, then?"

"Of course it's a lady, Gary! An ugly one too."

"I think she's pretty." SMACK

"Of course YOU do, you'd get goo-goo eyes at the Bandersnatch!"

Despite his efforts, Bones allowed a small expression of annoyance to come across his features. McCoy was convinced the strangers managed to ignore it when he felt a pair of hands enter his dress pocket.

"Careful where you're runnin' your hands, Gary! You don't want to be rubbin' her up. Let's just steal her shit and leave."

"I'm tryin'! I'm tryin'!"

"Oh God, is that a mouse?"

"It's a pocket mouse! I hear they're all the rage in Umbridge." McCoy heard Sulu squeak and his eyes happened upon the form of two strange, short statured young men. Both had to be no more than four feet in height. Their slim-figures were hidden underneath frumpy white and red striped sweaters, and they each wore a pair of brown suspenders. Their faces were young, no older than their early twenties, and milk pale with light freckles glittering their cheeks. They had soft, golden locks and the iciest blue eyes McCoy had every seen. They were handsome, albeit for their crazed behavior. The pair were paying him no mind as they carelessly waved the small form of Sulu around in the area, appraising his worth.

"You don't even know where Umbridge is, you idiot. And besides! He's not made of anything special, he's all squishy-like."

"Maybe we can eat it?"

"I'll be damned!" McCoy growled, managing to catch the two strange boys off-guard as he swiftly took hold of the hand that was not restraining his friend.

"AH! Gary! It's got you! Smack it with something!" The one called Jerry squealed as he began to wave his arms frantically above his head.

"My hands are full, you moron!"

"Throw the mouse! We don't need it anymore."

"Good, Right!" He said, before nailing McCoy right between the eyes with  
Sulu's small frame. His comrade landed on his lap and pulled out his needle, ready to fight their assaulters.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Jerry roared, as he lifted a rock into his hand, preparing to hurl it at Bones. Before his attention directed back to McCoy, Sulu leapt upon him and began assaulting his face with his small weapon. He drew a small fraction of blood from Jerry's nose, which ushered forth a small, high-pitched scream. Gary rushed forth to pull the small attacker off of his brother, but quickly recoiled when his hand was met with a sharp swipe of Sulu's tiny blade. Bone's stared on in astonishment as the tiny lieutenant harassed the two boys into submission.

"That should teach you to mind your manners!" Sulu laughed, proudly as he watched the twins recoil with their backs against the tree. They had huddled together tending to their small lacerations while whimpering shamelessly. Their eyes never left their small assailant.

"That one's crazy, he is!" Jerry sniffled as he sucked the blood from his fingertips. Gary gave a fearful nod as he hugged his arms tighter around his brother's broad shoulders.

"Judging by your uniforms, I'd say it's safe to assume you are from the Red Queen's kingdom." Sulu was pacing back and forth before the startled pair, while swinging his weapon swiftly around his finger. "That means you boys can be of use to us, actually." He said as a small, surprisingly cruel smile played across his face.

"We're not telling you anything!" Gary squeaked, unconvincingly.

"HEY!" Sulu said, shoving his small needle forward causing the twins to huddle tighter together. "I'll be doing the talking here, thank you very much!" McCoy shook his head in bemusement as he watched the spectacle unfold before him.

"You work for the Red Queen. What is your purpose! Did the queen send you?! SPEAK UP!"

"We're still not telling you a thing!"

"We're gonna die here, Jerry! He's crazy! He'll kill us for sure!"

"Well then I'll take it to my grave!"

"I don't want to take it to my grave"

"Think Jerry, If we tell 'em anything the Queen's gonna stomp us under!"

"Hey!... HEY!... I SAID SHUT UP!" Sulu squeaked, ripping the two boys attention back to him. The boys were wide-eyed with fear as they clutched desperately onto one another. "I said _I'll _be doing the talking here, okay! Now answer my question. Why are you here?! If you test me….You _will fail…_"

"…We'd better tell 'em, Gary. What harm could it do?"

"When the queen find out we squeaked she's gonna-"

"_If…_the queen finds out.."

"If?…. I guess I'll take those odds."

The boys nodded in agreement. Bones took the rare silence to consider his small, but ferocious friend standing in front of him. The two met eyes and McCoy let forth a small smile, which was received by a look of pride from his comrade. When the two turned their attention back to the twins, Bones shook his head in disbelief as the young boys continued to push one another closer to Sulu, each trying desperately to shield himself with the other's frame.

"I think you ought to tell him."

"I don't think so, Jerry. You.. You're the eloquent one. I say _you _tell 'em."

"Oh, why thank you, Gary. I guess I am rather well-spoke- Wait a minute, I see what your doin'! You want me to squeak so that if the queen finds out it'll be off with my head!"

"No, That's not….Well actually, yes. That's pretty much it." He said, shrugging his shoulder. The two erupted into a small slap fight until Sulu once again had to frighten them to attention.

"This isn't going to work, dammit! Look at them! They're too deranged. You can't ask a blind man for directions to a pool party and expect to get there on time." McCoy's statement was received with silence as the three people before him held confused expressions.

"He thinks _we're _deranged." Gary snickered as he gently nudged his brother on the shoulder.

"I know, Alice. But they work for the queen and they're not exactly the brightest bunch. I think we could get some valuable information." Sulu said before turning his attention back to the snickering pair.

"Hey!" Sulu yelled, bringing the boys back to their cowering state. "Can I get an answer from you two? I don't care which one of you squeaks, but it better happen soon! I'm not exactly a patient mouse!"

"I think we made him angry, Gary."

"Alright, Alright!" Gary finally continued, "We weren't out for you! We was causin' a bit of a stir with the Queen. Jerry over here thought it was a good idea to-"

"GARY! The Queen ordered never to speak of it again!" he said, grabbing his brother around the neck and waving him wildly back and forth.

"Get off, you lunatic!" Gary roared and he ripped his brothers hands off of his neck and turned his attention back to Sulu. "Anyway, Jerry here did somethin' _stupid…._and got the queen angry with him. That's when I came in and used my incredible intellect to remedy the situation."

"I don't really think that's how it happened, Gary. The Queen seemed mighty mad at the both of us."

"No she wasn't! Now shut up and let me tell the story! Anyway, the queen decided that she wanted to send _me _on a very special mission and told me to take along my idiot bother so that he wouldn't cause any trouble while I'm gone."

"And the mission was?" Sulu said, raising an eyebrow.

"Come closer. It's very secret, ya' see. The Queen said that we weren't allowed to share our mission with anyone." Gary lowered himself so that he was close enough to the mouse's ear to usher forth a detectable whisper. Bones, out of curiosity, stepped forward to listen in.

"She told us to find her a golden wishing toad." He said as a beaming smile appeared on his face. Sulu squinted his eyes as he considered the twins strange orders.

"Well…." Sulu said, shaking his head in amusement. "Good luck with that." He chuckled as he turned to face McCoy. His expression was easy to read. McCoy chucked in understanding before turning to have his shot with the twins.

"You're in luck, boys." McCoy said, as an idea came to the forefront of his mind. "Because I might actually be able to help you with that mission of yours." A devious smile wrinkled across his cheeks. The boys jumped forward in excitement, reminding Bones of small children awaiting some sort of reward. Their smiles were greedy and full of juvenile enthusiasm._ The prey is caught in the web._ McCoy thought to himself. "You see, my friend and I just happened upon a whole mass of golden toads. A whole pond full of them, actually." The boys began to quiver with excitement "But…I need something in return for the valuable information you seek." Their greedy expressions turned to frowns.

"I don't want to get a mission for another mission!" Jerry whined as he plopped, bum first, into the grass. Gary ignored him.

"In exchange for _what?" _Gary said, eyes narrowed in disdain.

"What can you tell us about the Red Queen?"

"Oh. That's easy!" Jerry piped up, his excitement returning. "Her favorite color is red, she has a very bad temper, she is rather good at croquet-"

"She isn't good at croquet, she cheats!" Gary interrupted, earning a gasp from his brother

"The queen doesn't need to _cheat, _Gary. You hear what she says all the time. She's better at everything! Why would she need to cheat?" He said, seemingly upset by his brother's accusations.

_Better at everything? _McCoy thought with a sneer. _Who does that remind me of? A certain pompous little terrorist. _McCoy chuckled at the thought of attempting to hook Khan up with this Red Queen in the event he ever found his way back to the Enterprise.

"Hold on a second, boys. Boys? HEY!" Bones yelled, causing them to stop their quarreling and return their attention to him. "That's great and all, but I'm not looking for fun facts, dammit!"

"There's nothing fun about cheating." Gary scolded, sourly.

"Could you forget about the cheating? Thanks." Bones spat, disheartened that his attempts were proving to be fruitless against the blatant stupidity of the young gentleman. "Look, I want to know more about the queen. You see, I need to have a nice little…. chat with your highness and I'd like to know more about her. Could you give me something that's- I don't know- useful?" He said, running his hand through his hair, as he tried to quell his aggravation.

"Oh! Why didn't you just say so? Jerry, let's tell him the story of the 'Walrus and the Engineer'."

"Oh, I love that one!" Jerry said, clapping delightedly.

"The Walrus and the what?" McCoy lifted an eyebrow, preparing himself for more lunacy than he was used to handling from a single encounter. Sulu, however, seemed intrigued by the boy's strange story.

"The Walrus and the Engineer. You'll see. Just let us tell the story and you listen."

"Oh, we're so good at storytelling."

"Right we are, Jerry. I mean, not to toot our own trumpet but-"

"Toot toot!" Jerry chimed in, as the boys erupted into laughter.

"Ehem. Alright then, let's begin. Good Morning, my fine audience. My name is Gary Tweedle and this is my brother-"

"Jerry Tweedle."

"And this is the story of the Walrus and the Engineer." They said in unison, taking a deep and dramatic bow.

"This is going to take a while.." Bones growled as he planted himself on the grass with Sulu sitting right by his side.


End file.
